What You Don’t Know About School Bullying (By Becca)

When I was in school, I really was not old enough to understand/experience school bullying.

And even if I did, it was amateurish, like, “I’m playing with HER on the playground!” THAT type of stuff.

But from what I have seen on TV and heard from my friends, high school bullying is like nothing I have ever heard before. Teens are killing themselves because of taunting, picking on, or for being gay... It’s truly horrifying!

In our homeschool group, we have teens who say they are bisexual, straight and gay and none of them are judged for it.

Recently, (in the news), there was a student who killed himself because people found out he was gay (on the computer).

A teenager’s self esteem is so fragile as it is, without other stupid kids your age poking fun of which sex you prefer.

Most of my friends still aren’t even sexually active (and don’t even know what sex they are attracted to because they are not even there yet)!

At this age, how are you even supposed to know? And if you are “same-sex oriented,” must you be afraid of telling certain people, because of what they might think?

Why should anyone be judged for something so unimportant? Why should anybody even care?

Why should I want to kill myself because of something you said?

Next time you think about bullying or judging somebody because of what they like, maybe you should think twice about it...

Different Parenting Styles

We all do the best we can.

The last time I checked, there was no such thing as a “parent manual” to tell us exactly how to raise our kids.

We guide our children, based on what we think is right, and also based on OUR past experience (as children, and adults).

There’s such a fluctuation in how my friends are raising their kids.

And I find that my own parenting style is very eclectic. I’m very strict about some things, and almost too relaxed about others…

And as Becca gets older, I realize how odd my parenting rules may seem. But…I have to say…what we’re doing works for us (for some strange reason).

Here are some of my rules (and some of my observations):

When Becca was a toddler, she sang Barney songs. She also sang songs from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. We watched it the whole time she was growing up. Some of her (teen) friends STILL aren’t allowed to watch it.

Becca uses “salty” language at times. (So do Bob and I.) She knows where NOT to use it (in front of the Rabbi, younger kids, other adults). But she uses it here at home and with her peers. (Most of them do.)

Becca’s not allowed to drive with another teen in the car (even if I’m in the car with them).

Becca’s not allowed to ride with anyone under the age of 21 driving (even with another parent in the car).

Becca goes to sleep (at night) when SHE’S ready. She hasn’t had a real “bed time” since she left public school.

Becca’s allowed to watch R-rated movies. (She’s been watching them for several years. It just depended on the “content.” Yes, we judged each movie separately.)

Becca’s not allowed to be dropped “downtown,” at the local mall, or pretty much anywhere else without a Parent on Duty.

Becca’s allowed to read banned books. I encourage it.

Becca still hasn’t had a serious “boyfriend.” She’d rather have “guy friends.” (This makes me very happy.)

Becca would sometimes rather stay at home with the family…reading, watching TV/movies, or playing board games. She’ll sometimes pass up “social time” with friends and stay home.

Becca is allowed to pick her clothing (within reason). I will offer her advice based on her body type (and pretty much only when she asks). It doesn’t have to be “modest” (but she also knows that she doesn’t want to look like a hooker).

I am not trying to hold Becca back. Even when I encourage her to be more independent, she’s been known to say, “I still want to be a kid. Don’t rush me.”

Again, I’m not judging the way other people have raised (or are raising) their children. Everyone does the best they can.

And based on the kids that Becca surrounds herself with on a daily basis, it’s working!!!

Dating in the Homeschool Group (My Take On It - Becca)

-Sigh-

Dating is a very complicated thing, period, and when it involves boys you are very close with (friends, friends of friends, or friends’ brothers) it gets really weird.

Okay, not weird more like…incestuous.

I’m not saying that I have never had a crush on a boy in the homeschool group.

But as you get older, you realize you love these guys…not because you want to date them, but because you love them for who they are…and you want to hang out with them more.

I look at my school friends’ statuses on Facebook, and I’ll go, “Wow…is this really what they think about at my age?”

See, I’d rather text a “guy friend’ or IM, but I could not imagine hanging out with them as a friend, dating, breaking up, and then it being awkward having to see them at EVERY teen and/or homeschool event.

I know it would be ten times worse in school... I don’t know, it might just be me...but I don’t look at my guy friends as possible dates.

I would rather hang out with guys and be friends than having the possibility of ruining a wonderful friendship.

The Lightning Thief (and Teen Book Club Discussion)!!!

We had a wonderful Teen Book Club meeting today!

The kids in this group range from age 12 through 16, and there are an equal number of boys and girls.

Today, the book of choice was The Lightning Thief. The meeting was at a Mediterranean restaurant (in honor of the Greek Gods in the book). We had appropriately-themed bookmarks and a really good (but tough) word search (made up by one of the teens).

AND we had blue cupcakes (with blue icing and lightning bolts). And blue cookies. All in honor of Percy Jackson (and his love of blue food).

It was wonderful to see all of the kids (and parents) enjoying their meal (and talking about the book). We had 18 people in all (7 moms and dads, and 11 kids). A full house in a small restaurant!

I love the book club idea. It fosters the love of reading, and it gives these teens even more social time.

And I’m glad that we parents are allowed to be a part of it.

That’s not to say that the teens didn’t have their own space. They sat at one end of the table, we sat at the other. But it’s nice that we can be there and enjoy the company of other parents (and even discuss the book ourselves)!

The waitress commented, as we were leaving, that she was really impressed with how well-behaved our teens were. She was also surprised that they were all homeschooled. She said she had never met a homeschooled kid before.

I’m so glad that we can go out in public and make such a positive, long-lasting impression.

But…Do You Feel You’re Missing Out by Not Going to Homecoming?

It was all over Facebook this weekend. Homecoming.

So…I asked Becca if she felt that she was missing out. (This does concern me. I mean, if I saw all the posts, then I know SHE saw them too. And I was truly concerned. WAS she missing out on all the fun?)

And she said, “Psh…no!” (But with much more attitude than I can convey here…)

She has no desire to be involved with Homecoming. Courts and dresses and dances and what she calls, “high school politics.”

That’s not to say that she doesn’t enjoy the homeschool dances that are held on a regular basis (formal and informal). She does!

But…it’s different.

How, you ask?

It’s just less stress…and pressure…and the feeling that you need to keep up (or measure up). And the “popularity” aspect of it of it all.

Not that we’re knocking the idea of Homecoming. We’re most definitely not! (Please see my other blogs re: our “live and let live” philosophy.) We’re glad that our teen friends enjoyed their dances (and Homecoming festivities)!

It’s a “to each their own” thing, really. Homecoming is just not Becca.

And if she ever does feel like she’s missing out? Well, then, she always has the option of going back to public school. (Right now, it’s not even a possibility that she entertains. And that's OK.)

Homeschool Academic Fair (Yet Another Success!)

Years ago, we started doing twice-a-year academic fairs with our original homeschool group. We’ve carried that tradition on in our “new” homeschool group as well.

What’s an academic fair you ask?

Well, it’s like a science fair, but the children’s projects don’t have to be science-related. They can be related to ANYTHING the child is interested in at the time.

Some of the projects we saw today were:

Tornadoes

Hurricanes

Elephants

Moths and Butterflies

Stop Motion Videos

and

Ancient Egypt

Becca has participated in several academic fairs… We were there as “guests” (or observers) today. But her past projects included:

Build-A-Bear

American Girl Dolls

Loch Ness Monster

Crocheting

and

Wolf Totems

What’s great about the academic fairs is that the child can pick whatever subject they’d like. They can do a display board, have photos, use computers and have “demonstration” items (or even samples). Then each child sits at their display and tells about their project as others come around. These projects help children do research, use their presentation skills and embrace their creativity.

And each child gets recognition for their participation.

The best part about it (and the main difference between an academic fair and a science fair) is that, 1. There are no “winners and losers,” 2. There is NO pressure (and no set guidelines), and 3. (And most importantly, in my book), the KIDS do the projects. NOT the parents!

The children learn by having fun. And in my book, that’s what homeschooling is all about.

Hello! Becca (the New Driver) Here…

Today something amazing happened! Here, I’ll give you a little background…

For about a month, I have been practicing “safe driving” and “permit training” and guess what? Today I passed my permit exam! It was amazing! I studied hard, took online tests and what do you know? It majorly paid off!

Now, this is coming from a child (teen) who hasn’t taken a “strict” test like this since the FCAT…five years ago. And believe me, it was really stressful. Tears, frustration and lots and lots of squeezing “stress balls.” But eventually I passed.

And boy do I feel relief!

Now, with that under my belt, I have time to do stuff I actually enjoy. Script reading (drama class), regular reading (Wicked Appetite by Janet Evanovich), and relaxing at home.

(My mom reminds me I have Geometry also…)

Even though permit practice was a pain…I’m sure happy to be done with it!

Talk to you next time!

Becca