Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Different Parenting Styles
We all do the best we can.
The last time I checked, there was no such thing as a “parent manual” to tell us exactly how to raise our kids.
We guide our children, based on what we think is right, and also based on OUR past experience (as children, and adults).
There’s such a fluctuation in how my friends are raising their kids.
And I find that my own parenting style is very eclectic. I’m very strict about some things, and almost too relaxed about others…
And as Becca gets older, I realize how odd my parenting rules may seem. But…I have to say…what we’re doing works for us (for some strange reason).
Here are some of my rules (and some of my observations):
When Becca was a toddler, she sang Barney songs. She also sang songs from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. We watched it the whole time she was growing up. Some of her (teen) friends STILL aren’t allowed to watch it.
Becca uses “salty” language at times. (So do Bob and I.) She knows where NOT to use it (in front of the Rabbi, younger kids, other adults). But she uses it here at home and with her peers. (Most of them do.)
Becca’s not allowed to drive with another teen in the car (even if I’m in the car with them).
Becca’s not allowed to ride with anyone under the age of 21 driving (even with another parent in the car).
Becca goes to sleep (at night) when SHE’S ready. She hasn’t had a real “bed time” since she left public school.
Becca’s allowed to watch R-rated movies. (She’s been watching them for several years. It just depended on the “content.” Yes, we judged each movie separately.)
Becca’s not allowed to be dropped “downtown,” at the local mall, or pretty much anywhere else without a Parent on Duty.
Becca’s allowed to read banned books. I encourage it.
Becca still hasn’t had a serious “boyfriend.” She’d rather have “guy friends.” (This makes me very happy.)
Becca would sometimes rather stay at home with the family…reading, watching TV/movies, or playing board games. She’ll sometimes pass up “social time” with friends and stay home.
Becca is allowed to pick her clothing (within reason). I will offer her advice based on her body type (and pretty much only when she asks). It doesn’t have to be “modest” (but she also knows that she doesn’t want to look like a hooker).
I am not trying to hold Becca back. Even when I encourage her to be more independent, she’s been known to say, “I still want to be a kid. Don’t rush me.”
Again, I’m not judging the way other people have raised (or are raising) their children. Everyone does the best they can.
And based on the kids that Becca surrounds herself with on a daily basis, it’s working!!!